Joey Jordison

Interview: PART 1...Interview from KERRANG!....

The full monty on SLIPKNOT'S pint sized drum demon JOEY JORDISON

What is your nickname and why?

"Superball. Because one time we played this terrible show and I was so angry
that I was bouncing around the room. It had to be seen to be believed.
Dude, I was so f**cking mental I could have given Michael Jordan a run for
his money."

At school, were you a dunce or a teacher's pet?

"More of a pet, because there was this one teacher that I had a real crush on
and I'd always drop my pencil to look up her skirt. I got decent grades, but
I mostly hung out by my locker with my headphones on. I hung out with nobody
- I was really introverted."

What was your first shag like?

"The girl was 14, I was 17. She was mental. I go over to her house and she
starts throwing shit at me while cranking Madonna out of the stereo. She
turns out the light and throws a rubber at me, which hits me on the forehead,
and then she goes, 'Now it's time'. The thing is, she had a broken leg and
I'm trying to get her pants off like a moron. I get in there, do three or
four strokes, blow my load and say, 'We shouldn't be doing this'. I pull
out, leave her standing there with her gimp leg, walk home with the condom
on, clean it out with water, and let out the biggest scream of victory you've
ever heard. It's the best sex I've ever had. I f**cked a charity case."

PART 2

Who's your best friend?

"My mom. She's always supported me from day one."

What's the best pet you've ever had?

"I had a tom-cat that liked to fight dogs and he always came out a bloody
mess: trails of blood through the house, tail ripped to shreds. I called him
Not My Cat. He ruled. I used to dress him up, hang cigarettes from his
mouth, crazy shit."

Have you ever been arrested?

"No, but next time I go to Australia I probably will be."

What would you do if you weren't a rock star?

"I'd be trying to get as close to the stage as possible by being a drum tech
or sound man."

How would you describe yourself on a blind date form?

"I'm cheap!"

What's the most extravagant thing you've ever bought?

"My car, but that wasn't very expensive. It's a 1990 two-door red Chevy
Blazer."

Who's gagging for a shagging?

"Fiona Apple. I'm completely and utterly obsessed with her. I met her once
and she flirted with me. I don't give a f**k what anyone says, she was
definitely flirting with me."

Who's gagging for a smacking?

"Fiona Apple on her ass when I'm doggy-styling her."

What the worst job you've ever had?

"I've never really had one. I'm in one of the finest bands ever."

When did you last call home?

"We haven't been on tour long, so I haven't called home yet."

What was your most embarrassing moment?

"Once in grade school, we were watching a movie with the lights out and I
puked all over my desk. I was so freaked out that I tried to scoop it all up
in my arms. It ruled, though, because it started a 'vomitory' - three or
four other people puked."

Who would you least like to see naked?

"My tour manager Danny. It might turn him on."

What's the best rumour you've ever heard about yourself?

"That it was me who got Rayna from Coal Chamber pregnant. It was all over
the internet at one point. I've never even met her."

What's in your wallet right now?

"A credit card, Kiss plectrums from when I met them, keys to these handcuffs
that I got for the chicks, and a rubber."

What's your favourite joke?

"Oasis. Those guys suck dick and we want to fight them."

If you were marooned on a desert island without food, which member of
Slipknot would you choose to eat first?

"Chris (Fehn, percussionist), because he eats the most."

Which Slipknot song would you choose to donate to a compilation album called
'Crap songs of our time'?

"None of them. Zero."

What's your drug of choice?

"I don't do drugs. Caffeine, I guess."

What does God look like?

"He's the guy with the beard and the white robe. Or he looks like Kiss."

When you die, how would you like to go?

"While slamming at the drum kit or doing Fiona Apple."

Taken from - Kerrang magazine issue #796 - April 5, 2000